"You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When..." joke

1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.

2. You chew on your wife's fingernails.

3. You can jump-start your car without cables.

4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

5. You can't remember your second cup.

6. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.

8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

9. You don't sweat- you percolate.

10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.