"Things Not To Do At A Job Interview" joke

Point at a photo of the interviewer's family on desk and start
laughing uncontrollably.
Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say,
'Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone
barricaded that.'
Constantly fidget with your underwear waistband, then blurt:
'The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?'
After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify it with,
'Of course I was totally hammered at the time.'
Inquire on the office's policy of friends staying over.
Claim you wouldn't even need a sit-in' job if Al Einstein
hadn't stolen your secret patent for '2000 Flushes'
Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.
Ask if it's O.K. that you sit on the floor.
Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you
didn't feel like making anything else up.
Ask the secretary if she'll sit on your lap during interview.
Walk into interviewers office with a tape measure, measure
office from a few angles, put it away, then declare; 'NOW we can
begin.'
Upon walking into the office for the first time ask reception
to hold all your calls.