"Suggested military cost-cutting measures" joke
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's Suggested Military Cost-Cutting Measures
All major ground wars will be fought entirely by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg.
Combine Army and Navy into cost-effective super-force called the Narvmy.
Live out the new national advertising slogan: "Army of None." [TV spot will depict a driverless tank, meandering across battlefield, firing at random.]
In a compromise with bumper-sticker liberals, the nation's teachers will be forced to donate the proceeds of their bake-sales to the Army, which will then use the money to buy bombers.
Cadet's crisp five-finger salute to superior officers scaled down to three fingers and a look of sincere, filial respect.
After battles, soldiers collect used bullets for recycling.
Inter-Continental missiles no longer ballistic, just slightly peeved.
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