"My Mother Taught Me More..." joke

* My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

* My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

* My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"

* My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

* My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"

* My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"