"I'm Impressed!" joke

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her,
respect her,
honor her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the Earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked.
Bring food.