"Great Truths About Life That Adults Have Learned" joke

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

3) The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.

4) Families are like fudge. . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

5) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

6) My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

7) If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

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