Tunes Jokes

Country Tunes
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

From "Network News", 30 May 2001:

Police communications chiefs in Kent (UK) have stopped undercover coppers from using theme tunes from cop shows as mobile phone rings.

As part of Kent Constabulary's communications policy, undercover officers are forbidden from using tunes from The Bill, The Professionals, The Sweeney and Crimewatch on their mobiles. The top cops fear that criminals will nobble an undercover copper whose phone suddenly rings with a tune from Z-Cars.

British policing at its finest. ..