Pre-election Jokes

' 'We're going to give the press a ten minute head start, then that's what we're going to hunt.'' -- Ventura, in a pre-hunting interview with television reporters

' 'Being able to put two rounds into the same hole from 25 meters! That's gun control.'' -- Ventura, during a pre-election radio interview on the crime issue

' 'Did I die?'' -- Governor-elect Jesse Ventura, on the number of roses that were sent to him after his Nov. 3 victory.

' 'Anyway, I've done way more stupid things on alcohol than I have on pot.'' -- Jesse Ventura, in a pre-election discussion on the decriminalization of marijuana

' 'The people in Washington could not be more surprised if Fidel Castro came loping across the Midwestern prairie on the back of a Hippopotamus.'' -- Dan Rather, in a flustered election night report of the Ventura upset.