Sergeant Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was early morning at an Army camp and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
"Ames"
"Here!"
"Jenson"
"Here!"
"Jones"
"Here!"
"Magersky"
"Here!"
"Seeback"
" - "
"Seeback!"
" - "
"SEEBACK!!!"
" - "
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones` mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn`t you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath`s mother died. You`d better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time more...

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
"Ames" "Here!" "Jenson" "Here!" "Jones" "Here!" "Magersky" "Here!" "Seeback"
No answer.
"Seeback!"
No answer was heard again.
"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: "Jhonson"
"Here!"
"Joe"
"Here!"
"John"
"Here!"
"Michael"
"Here!"
"Seeback"
No answer.
"Seeback!"
No answer was heard again.
"SEEBACK!!!"
The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, turned a bright crimson red, and quickly turned over the list to continue calling the names printed on the other side.

A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan.He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques.Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office.Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander.He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility.Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?"The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."

A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped.

The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She
told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he
was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he
had on a helmet and gloves.

"That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman.

"Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman".

"I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant.

"No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long."

All right, you bastards, fall in-on the double!" barked the sergeant as he strode into the barracks. Each soldier grabbed his hat and jumped to his feet, except one-a private who lay in his bunk reading a book. "Well?" roared the sergeant. "Well," observed the private, "there certainly were a lot of them, weren't there?"