"Gullible cop" joke
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the vehicle?
Driver: It's not my vehicle. I stole it.
Cop: Are you telling me this is a stolen car?
Driver: That's right. Mind you, now that I think of it, I believe I did see the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Cop: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yep. I put it there after I shot and killed the whoman who owns this car. Then I stuffed her in the trunk.
Cop: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
When the cop heard this, he immediately called his captain. Within minutes, the car was surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver so he could handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your driver's license?
Driver: Certainly. Here it is. (It was a valid license.)
Captain: Sir, who owns this car?
Driver: I do, officer. Here's the owner's card. (The driver owned the car.)
Captain: Sir, slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it.
Driver: Yes, sir, but there isn't a gun in it. (There was nothing in the glove box.)
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I've been informed you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem, officer. (The trunk is opened and there is no body.)
Captain: Sir, I don't understand any of this. The officer who pulled you over said you told him you did not have a license, you had stolen the car, you had a gun in the glove box and there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: And I'll bet the lying son of a bitch told you I was speeding too!
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number