Top Rated Jokes

A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license please?"
The driver responds, "I can’t give it to you – because I don`t have one..."
"You don`t have one," asks the policeman?
The Realtor responds, "I lost it 4 times for drunk driving..."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration please?"
"I am sorry, I can do that either," replies the Realtor, as the homebuyers in the back seat look stunned.
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car," the Realtor responds, as the homebuyers in the back seat look shocked.
The Officer says, "Stole it?"
The Realtor says, "Yes I stole it, more...

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' Oh no,' says Dave.' He's on my bowling team.'

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says,' You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'

'No honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.' Hi Davey,' she says,' Want your usual table dance?'

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in more...