Recruit Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
    "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go' Bangety Bang Bang'."
    "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
    The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go,' Stabity Stab Stab'."
    The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
    The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
    Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts more...

    The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasnt until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.

    The US Army is currently in the midst of a sexual harassment scandal. It started at a small base in Aberdeen, Maryland. These are some things you might either see in the news, or hear about:
    As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, blonde staffers was transferred from Aberdeen Maryland to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, "Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment." The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will be be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"
    Then there was the newly promoted Army Captain who promptly had his female Quartermaster on the carpet because she forgot to include a sofa in his office.
    "I'm telling you Jody, I've never been happier" said the one recruit to the other. I have two Drill Sergeants madly in love with me. One is just more...

    A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
    had to arrest your own mother?"
    He said: "Call for backup."

    As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?""What?" asked the recruit innocently."I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant.The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"

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