Seng Jokes

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad. That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion. The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape. Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape. Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right." Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, more...

One day, Ah Choy & Ah Seng were walking down the Chinatown when they saw something in their path. "Wait!" cried Ah Choy. "Wat is lat ho?" "Yah ho! Be carefool lo," warned Ah Seng. "Wat is it?" They approached the thing and looked at it very closely. "Eee.. look like shit lah!" say Ah Choy. "Hmmm.. smell like shit also!" say Ah Seng after taking a deep breathe. Ah Choy then poked the thing with his one finger, raised the finger to his lips, tasted it and said, "Tastes like shit!" Ah Seng pushed his finger right through the thing and stick out his tongue to lick. With confident, he said, "Confirm is shit!" Then they smiled at each other, "Wah! lucky we didn't step on it."

Ah Seng, a recruit, was a bit of a loner. He took to drinking heavily whenever he booked out for the weekend. One weekend, he returned so drunk that he was told to see the Commanding Officer immediately. “Look Ah Seng, why don’t you shape up? ” said the CO, who was something of a softie. “There is a real future for you here if you sober up. You could become a corporal, or even a sergeant! Isn’t that something to look forward to? ” Ah Seng replied, ”Well, Sir, to tell you the truth, that’s really not good enough for me because after a few glasses of Tiger, I feel like a colonel! ”