Say Jokes

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they're a bunch of liars.

Wise men talk because they have something to say, Fools talk because they have to say something.

Little Johnny's Good Manners! During class, a teacher asked the boys the following question: "If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the restroom?"

A boy named Michael raised his hand first and said, "I would tell her, just a minute, I have to go pee really quick, I'll be right back!" "That would be very rude and impolite," the teacher responded.

Next a boy named Peter raised his hand and said, "Excuse me, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table," replied the teacher.

Then, little Johnny raised his hand and said, "I would say darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner!" The teacher fainted.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
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-TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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-TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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-TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: more...

3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen."
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A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin,
the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime.
She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each more...