"According to a recent survey" joke

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they're a bunch of liars.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...

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A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...

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My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Hairline Hunters:And their hairlines…
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JT:Sure if you think pedophilia is funny. Morons
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Mindy Matijasevic:hilarious!
Funny Joke? 53 vote(s). 75% are positive. 3 comment(s).