"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 3 years agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!

The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?"

Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."

~~
Editor's note: I find it personally amusing more...

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From "New Scientist", attributed from R.D. Hayler, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, to a friend:
Two sodium atoms are walking along the street when one stops and says, "Oh my God, I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other more...

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Hardy:Great
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justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
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justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
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beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
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Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
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roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
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Matthew:This is pretty weird
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Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:in yo mouth
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Funny Joke? 678 vote(s). 69% are positive. 60 comment(s).