"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 1 year agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: more...

44
12

It takes balls to be a transvestite.

50
11

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

194
68

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse more...

30
9

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy."
"So more...

10
3
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
1
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
1
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
1
(0)
beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
1
1
(0)
Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
1
1
(0)
roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
0
1
(0)
Matthew:This is pretty weird
0
1
(0)
Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
0
1
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
1
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
1
(0)
mike:Deez nuts
Show More Comments
Funny Joke? 676 vote(s). 69% are positive. 62 comment(s).