"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 1 month agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. more...

11
2

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

156
33

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When more...

8
0

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

191
51

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

196
41
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
0
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
0
(0)
beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
1
0
(0)
Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
1
0
(0)
roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
0
0
(0)
Matthew:This is pretty weird
0
0
(0)
Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
0
0
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
0
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
0
(0)
mike:Deez nuts
Show More Comments
Funny Joke? 675 vote(s). 69% are positive. 62 comment(s).