Wait Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the stoop to get in and he'd save him. The man on the stoop said, no, he had faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising and the man had to go to the second floor of his house. A man in a motor boat came by and told the man in the house to get in because he had come to rescue him. The man in the house said no thank you. He had perfect faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising. Pretty soon they were up to the man's roof and he got out on the roof. A helicopter then came by, lowered a rope and the pilot shouted down in the man in the house to climb up the rope because the helicopeter had come to rescue him. The man in the house wouldn't get in. He told the pilot that he had faith in God and would wait for God to rescue him. The flood waters more...

    A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
    The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
    Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
    The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
    Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
    Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
    Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

    Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood.
    One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
    "We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
    The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered with blood.
    The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
    The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
    "Yes," the other bat answers.
    "Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

    An old fraternity brother told us about a gag an undergrad girlfriend of his pulled off last semester: She disguised herself as a boy, joined TKE and the authorities never found out about it.
    "Wait a minute," we objected. "If this girl joined a fraternity, she would have had to dress with the guys and shower with them."
    "Sure."
    "Well then, someone must have discovered she was a girl!"
    "Probably," said our friend, downing his drink. "But who'd tell?"

    A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
    The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
    Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.
    As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car, two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: "Now that is what I call faith!"

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