Keen Jokes / Recent Jokes

AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement. QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors. TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors. INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors. STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: Asshole. TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut. APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together. SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life. CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared. METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker. DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice. more...

Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

A man looking for a job."...And remember we are very keen about clenliness. Did you wipe your shoes before entering" asked the manager. "Oh, yes sir."
Replied the man. The manager narrowed his eyes and said, "We are also very keen about the truth. There is no mat."

Student: J. Christ Form: III Term: 1
SubjectGradeTeacher's Comment
ReligionD
To the question "Who made the world?" persisted in answering 'My
dad'. Claims bible originated from the same source.
EnglishD+
Tends to speak and write in archaic forms and uses outmoded
figures of speech.
History A
Excellent pupil of ancient and Religious History.
Geography C-
Assignment on 'Hot, dry lands' was excellent, but shows little
interest in the rest. In geology, keeps talking about the Rock of
Ages instead of the ages of Rock.
Social StudiesB+
Shows keen interest in social issues.
MathematicsF
Lacks basics. Keeps muttering about 'Three in one' and 'I and
the father are one'.
General ScienceD
Lacks disipline - e.g., when asked to repeat the experiment for
making hydrogen, claimed he knew a better way.
Graphic CommunicationD
Prefers to draw with a stick in the sand to pencil more...

A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.
Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job: Needs more...

With the advent of the new year, many employees are faced with the dreaded "Annual Evaluation". Perhaps these lists will assist ya in in determining what your boss is really trying to say:
AVERAGE
Not too bright
SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE
Dumb as a rock
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED
Has committed no major blunders lately
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE
Highly Opinionated
STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES
Stubborn as Hell
TAKES GREAT PRIDE IN WORK
Conceited
REQUIRES WORK-VALUE COUNSELING AT TIMES
Lazy and hard-headed
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH
Hasn't been arrested or caught stealing lately
HAPPY AND CONTENT w/POSITION
Paid way too much
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL
We're stuck with them until retirement
IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL
Wanted by no other unit/dept
SHOULD GO FAR
Termination papers have been filed
QUICK THINKING
Offers plausible excuses for errors
VERY CREATIVE
Finds reasons to do anything except more...