Foxhole Jokes

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.

Friendly fire - isn`t.
Recoilless rifles - aren`t.
Suppressive fires - won`t.
You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
A sucking chest wound is Nature`s way of telling you to slow down.
If it`s stupid but it works, it isn`t stupid.
Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
If at first you don`t succeed, call in an airstrike.
If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
If your attack is going really well, it`s an ambush.
The enemy diversion you`re ignoring is their main attack.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they`re ready. when you`re not.
No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
There is no such thing as a perfect more...

Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire - isn't. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Suppressive fires - won't. You are not Superman Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. Try to look unimportant the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready + when you're not. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds. There is more...

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.