Fire Jokes

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says,' 'Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

My mates taking part in a spontaneous combustion contest.
I think he'll win, he's on fire at the moment.

Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Long got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Don't worry it didn't hurt anything very much, just burned part of the chow hall. Scoutmaster Long said we will have to wash the black stuff off of the meat that used to be in the cooler but he said it would be alright. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow more...

What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool?
A blonde trying to put it out.

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse".
"Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".