"I Screwed your mom" joke
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says,' 'Dad, go home, you're drunk!''
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...