"I Screwed your mom" joke

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says,' 'Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, more...

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Robinman21:Yo hairline is so bad scooby doo,Dora, blues clues,finding nemo,and Cam Jansen couldn't find it.Yo hairline be throwing up gang sign.Yo hair line got lost on the freeway.To hairline so bad we had Kratos from God of War fight that shit and still couldn't defeat it.Swerve Niggas
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Anonym:i tink dias is fuynny but not really daa gut huinnni luv u from ya horny friend.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx bare luff 2 u <3
Funny Joke? 78 vote(s). 68% are positive. 2 comment(s).