Dangerous Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

    Big cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anybody.

    1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
    2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
    3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
    4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
    5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
    6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
    7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
    8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
    9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
    10. You know you've landed more...

    1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
    2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
    3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
    4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
    5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
    6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
    7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
    8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
    9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
    10. You know you've landed with more...

    Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.
    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
    SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
    SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
    SAFER: Could we be over reacting?
    SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
    SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today.
    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.

  • Recent Activity