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    A boy of 6 years old never pays attention to his pant's zipper...which is always being left open. Because of this his mother often gets angry.
    One day some of his relatives plan to visit their city, so his mother advised him that whenever she tells him to "close the Eiffel Tower", it means that he has to close his zipper.
    His relatives arrive, and after some time, the boy asked his aunti, "Aunti, why did you come here?"
    His aunti answered, "Dear boy, we came here to see the Eiffel Tower."
    The boy said in great excitement, pointing towards his zipper, "But aunti, the Eiffel Tower is closed."
    Aunti replied, "My boy, that is the small Eiffel Tower. I came here to see big one."
    The boy answered politely, "Aunti, then I will have to call my dad."

    This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.

    My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...

    1 How do you fit an elephant into your fridge within 3 steps?
    2 How do you fit a zebra in your fridge?
    3 King of the jungle, the lion every animal in the jungle will come to his wedding but one animal won't which one is it?
    4 A man needs to get to the other side of a bridge desperately there are killer alligators that live in the river and there is no boat how do you get across??
    1. step 1- open the fridge.
    step 2- put elephant in the fridge.
    step 3- close the fridge.
    2. step 1- open the fridge.
    step 2- take the elephant out.
    step 3- put the zebra in.
    step 4- close the fridge.
    3. The zebra because it is in the fridge.
    4. Swim because the alligators are at the wedding.

    Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
    A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
    Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
    A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
    Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
    A: An inside out elephant.
    Q: What is grey and not there.
    A: No elephants.
    Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
    A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
    Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
    A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
    Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
    A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
    Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
    A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
    Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
    A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
    Q: Why did more...

    Life Will Not Be Like Star Trek-----------------------------------------There are so many Star Trek(tm) spin-offs that it is easy to fool yourself into thinking that the Star Trek vision is an accurate vision of the future. Sadly, Star Trek does not take into account the stupidity, selfishness, and horniness of the average human being. Allow me to describe some of the more obvious errors in the Star Trek vision. Medical Technology------------------------On Star Trek, the doctors have handheld devices that instantly close any openings in the skin. Imagine that sort of device in the hands of your unscrupulous friends. They would sneak up behind you and sealyour ass shut as a practical joke. The devices would be sold in novelty stores instead of medical outlets. All things considered, I'm happy that it's not easy to close other people's orifices. Transporter--------------It would be great to be able to beam your molecules across space and then reassemble them. The only problem is that more...

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