# Ground Jokes

## Physics Exam

Story of a Physics student who got the following question in an exam:

"You are given an accurate barometer, how would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper? "

He answered: "Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down' till it touches the ground and measure the length of the string".

The examiner wasn't satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:

"Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics? "

"Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground......"

"Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again? "

"Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top......"

"..another try? ...."

"Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it more...

## The Suicidal Goat

A guy who was tired with life in the big city decided to take a vacation and go to the mountain, so he rented a chalet in the wilderness.
One day, as he was strolling, he got to the edge of a precipice. He carefully looked down and backed quickly, amazed: "gee, is this deep!". He took a pebble and threw it in, to see how long it takes until it gets down. It took a while, so he thought "that's really deep"; then he found a big stone and tossed it, and when it hit the ground with an almost inaudible sound he reckoned "this is what I call deep". Having nothing else to do, he started to look around a found a large piece of rail. He strained a while, as it was pretty heavy, rusted and muddy, but he managed to push it over the cliff, and after some time, when he heard it hitting the ground with abig blast, he reasoned: "now that's something!".
He had just seated himself to rest and start meditating at the abyssal dimensions, when he saw a more...

## A Group of Managers...

A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. They got their ladders and tape measures and went out to the flagpole. However, the measurement job turned out to be much more difficult than any of them had expected, with some of them falling off the ladders, some dropping their tape measures and so on, and the whole thing had just turned into a big disaster.
After a while, an engineer happened to walk by and saw what the managers were attempting to do. She walked over, pulled the flagpole out of the ground, and laid it flat on the ground. She measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers and then walked away without saying a word.
After the engineer was out of sight, one manager turned to another and laughed as he shook his head. "Now that's just like an engineer! We're looking for the height and she gives us the length!"

## Physics Exam

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of more...

## Bricklayer's Accident Report

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went more...