"Lunch for the Lama" joke

Hot 7 years ago

A buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
A clergyman at the Pearly Gates "A Builder, a clergyman and a politician sttod outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for admission.
"I'm sorry, gentlement," Saint Peter said, "but the gates are broken."
The builder took a look at the gate, then offered to repair them for ten dollars.
"Why ten dollars?" Saint Peter asked.
"Five dollars for my labor, five dollars for the material," the builder explained.
"What about you" Saint Peter asked the Clergyman. "Can you fix them?"
"Yes, for thirty dollars. Ten for the orphans' fund, ten for the church's building fund, and ten for the poor box."
"And you, can you fix them?" Saint Peter asked the politician.
"Of course," the politician replied. "But I'll need $110."
"A hundred ten dollars?"
"Well, fifty's for me, fifty's for you, and for ten bucks, I can get the builder to fix them."

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde yelled at the doctor, "I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, more...

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of more...

Brothers Mike and Seamus O'Malley were the two richest men in town, and complete shites both of' em. They swindled the Church out of its property, foreclosed on the orphanage and cheated widows out of their last mite. And that was just for starters.

Finally Seamus up more...

A boy of 6 years old never pays attention to his pant's zipper...which is always being left open. Because of this his mother often gets angry.
One day some of his relatives plan to visit their city, so his mother advised him that whenever she tells him to "close the more...

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