"List of One-Liners" joke

*Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?
*Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with...
*If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
*43.3% of statistics are meaningless!
*Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
*A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
*It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit.
*Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?
* |||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work.
*Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
*Just fill out one simple form to win a Tax Audit!
*Grow your own Dope - Plant a Politician.
*Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.
*The buck doesn't even slow down here!
*Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
*If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.
*Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!
*The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
*Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.
*Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
*Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
*Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.
*Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
*Don't worry: the answer's at the back of the book.
*We do precision guesswork.
*My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.
*'Oh what a tangled web we weave' - Hair Club for Men.
*A penny saved is a government oversight.
*Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.
*Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.