"Ladies Toilet" joke
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy.
'Are you the manager?' she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
'Actually, no,' he replies.
'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she says, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
'I'm afraid I can't,' breathes the barman, clearly aroused. 'Is there anything I can do?'
‘Yes there is. I need you to give him a message,' she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them. 'Tell him,' she says, 'that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies' toilet.'
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.
Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.