"Guide to Religions." joke

A short guide to comparative religions:

Taoism: Shit Happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens it's not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens it is the will of Allah
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Catholicism: Shit happens cuz you are bad.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.
T. V. evangelism: Send more shit.
Atheism: NO shit!
Jehovah's witness: Knock Knock Shit happens.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianinsm: Let's smoke this shit.