I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says, "You're all idiots!" and pours two beers.
One day, a man walked into the dentist"s office for some dental work. The dentist said, "Sir, you have a tooth I must pull, What type of pain killer would you like?" The man looked at the dentist and said, "None, thanks, I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life." The dentist said, "Sir, pulling this tooth Will be painful, I suggest a painkiller." The man looked back at the dentist and said, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, Nothing else will ever compare." The dentist said, "Sir, I"m telling you, use a painkiller." The man again said to the dentist, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, I do not need painkillers, now pull the tooth." The dentist then said, "Okay, You asked for it, But first, tell me what was the second greatest pain in your life?" The man said, "Yes, I remember it well. I was hunting in some woods north of here one snowy day. more...
A SUPERINTENDING Engineer (S. E.) of the CPWD was inspecting the furniture section. He wanted to test the knowledge of his subordinates.
"What kind of wood is this?" he asked one.
"Teak, sir. C. P. Teak," replied the subordinate.
"And the plywood?"
"Duroply sir. It bears the ISI mark. Best in the market.
"And the board?"
"Pamella Borde, sir," replied the smarty subordinate.
"What do you mean? This is Duro board," growled the S. E.
"Sir, we have renamed it Pamella Borde, because it is the best available and universally used."
A grey-bearded Sardarji boarded the Air India flight to London carrying a basket in his arms which he held close to his chest. He pressed the call-button to summon the stewardess. "Bibi," he addressed the girl kindly, "are you sure our pilot knows how to fly the plane properly? Do find out if he has a driving licence and has taken enough petrol for the journey." The girl assured him that the Captain was an experienced pilot and had taken enough fuel to get the plane to London.
A few minutes later he pressed the call bell again and asked the girl: "Find out if the engine was properly overhauled before we left and there is enough air in the tyres. Did he check them for punctures?" the girl reassured him again and asked: "Babaji why are you worried about your life? We will get you safely to
London."
"I'm not worried about myself," the old man replied, "I am worried about what I am carrying in this basket. You see I more...
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.