"Chuck Norris" joke

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down

A man phoned his boss "I need a day off today, something is wrong with my eyes". "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "Don't know, but I can't see myself coming into work today".

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

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Q: Why are women so bad at mathematics?
A: Because men keep telling them that this...

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... is 12 inches.

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makiah:lame
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vfjyun:gfhftrju dti7ik
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crazy_driver_78:I saw this on a "Top ten reasons Chuck Norris is a bad ass" poster many years ago. Worst part about it is Chuck Norris sucks ass.
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Anonym:lol..........that funny
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Anonym:your jokes are allsome
Funny Joke? 43 vote(s). 19% are positive. 5 comment(s).