"chuck norris survived an abortion..." joke

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

your mamma is so ugly she makes blind kids scared

Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors