"The Bear Hunter" joke
George was very excited about his new rifle and decided to go bear hunting. He quickly spotted a small brown bear, took aim and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw standing before him a large black bear.
"You have two choices," the black bear said. "Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
George decided to bend over. Although he was quite sore for a couple of weeks, he soon recovered and vowed revenge. Heading out on another trip, he found the black bear and shot it. Again, there was a tap on his shoulder. This time it was a huge grizzly bear that stood before him.
"That was a big mistake, George. You have two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have really rough sex," growled the grizzly.
Feeling that it would be much safer to comply, George bent over. Although he survived it, this time it took him several months before he finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.
Feeling sweet revenge, George suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and found a giant polar bear standing there.
"Let's be honest, George," the polar bear said, "you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
An Attorney was riding home in his limo and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.
His driver went to the two men and asked, sirs why are you eating grass? The first man replied, I have no money and must more...