Choices Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This bloke goes bear hunting with a .22 rifle, a .303 & an elephant gun. He comes to the edge of this clearing and spots a bear. He aims his .22 rifle at the bears head, bang, then races over, looks around, no bear. Suddenly he gets a tap on the shoulder, looks around, 15 foot of grizzly standing there. Bear says 'You must be a sandwich short of a picnic. A .22 rifle and 15 foot of grizzly. I'll tell you what, you've got two choices. Either I crush you to death or you can drop your strides, bend over that rock and I'll give you one'
    The hunter replies ' I suppose it's got to be over the rock then'
    After the bears had him he walks back to his car, when he gets there he thinks I'll go back with the .303 rifle this time and have him. He gets back to the clearing, the bears there. He takes aim, bang, races over, looks around, no bear. Suddenly, a tap on his shoulder, he looks around, 15 foot of grizzly again. The bear says ' You must be stupid or something. You've got two choices more...

    Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
    The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.
    Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.
    The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.
    Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap more...

    We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.

    Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.

    > >ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING......... By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz
    > >
    > > Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always
    > > in a good mood and always had something positive to say.
    > > When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply,
    > > "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
    > >
    > > He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who
    > > had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason
    > > the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a
    > > natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was
    > > there telling the employee how to look on the positive side
    > > of the situation.
    > >
    > > Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to
    > > Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all
    > >of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied,
    > >
    > > "Each more...

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