"attitude" joke

> >ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING......... By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz
> >
> > Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always
> > in a good mood and always had something positive to say.
> > When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply,
> > "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
> >
> > He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who
> > had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason
> > the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a
> > natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was
> > there telling the employee how to look on the positive side
> > of the situation.
> >
> > Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to
> > Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all
> >of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied,
> >
> > "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two
> > choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can
> > choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each
> > time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can
> > choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time
> > someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their
> > complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose
> > the positive side of life."
> >
> > "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
> >
> > "Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you
> > cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You
> > choose how you react to situations. You choose how people
> > will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad
> > mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."
> >
> > I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the
> > restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but
> > often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead
> > of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did
> > something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant
> > business: he left the back door open one morning and
> > was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to
> > open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the
> > combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was
> > found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
> > After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was
> > released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in
> > his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I
> > asked him how he was, he replied,
> > "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
> >
> > I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone
> > through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that
> > went through my mind was that I should have locked the back
> > door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered
> > that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose
> > to die. I chose to live.
> >
> > "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry
> > continued,
> >
> >"The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to
> > be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I
> > saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got
> > really scared. In their eyes, I read,' He's a dead man. " I knew I
> > needed to take action."
> >
> > "What did you do?" I asked.
> >
> > "Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said
> > Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.' Yes,' I replied.
> > The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply..
> > I took a deep breath and yelled,' Bullets!' Over their laughter,
> > I told them,' I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not
> > dead."
> >
> > Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of
> > his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the
> > choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
> >
> > U have 2 choices now:
> >
> > 1. save or delete this mail from ur mail box.
> > 2. forward it to friends and choose to pass this on
> >
> > Hope, you will choose choice 2.

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...

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Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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