Grizzly Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dewayne, his wife, and Dewayne's mother-in-law went camping over the 4th of July weekend. Dewayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone from her stroll in the woods way too long.
    So the two of them went looking for her.
    After a while they spotted a gigantic, ferocious grizzly bear squared off with the mother-in-law!
    Immediately her daughter said to her husband, in a frantic voice, "Dewayne you got'ta do something, or there's gonna be blood shed fer sure!"
    Dewayne calmly said, "Now look, honey, the bear got himself into it..."

    A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
    The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. Second, he had to wrestle with a grizzly bear. And last, he had to make love to an Athabascan Indian woman.
    "No problem," said the cheechako, and off he went. He hired himself a guide, and soon had dispatched his first duty. Then they found the grizzly bear.
    The cheechako chased the bear into a cave. The most awful roaring and screaming emitted from that cave, along with blood and fur.
    Finally, the cheechako staggers out of the cave. "Okay," he said to the guide. "Where's that Indian woman I'm supposed to wrassle!"

    Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear.

    All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.

    The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack.

    The second biologist gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the world are you doing?"

    He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we''ll jump down and make a run for it."

    The second guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can''t outrun a full-grown grizzly bear."

    The first guy says, "I don''t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

    What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth?
    A gummy bear

    The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this warning...
    "Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognise the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear manure has little bells in it and smells like pepper."

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