"Sri Lankan Hell" joke

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Sri Lankan hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Sri Lankan devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed
and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!!

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza more...

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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