Sri Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

    The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
    The Sri Lankan: Of course!
    The American: We do not. We only eat the inner part, the crust is put in a container, later processed, transformed into flour and then sold to Sri Lanka. The Sri Lankan says nothing.
    The American continues: Do you eat this jelly with the bread?
    The Sri Lankan repeats: Of course.
    The American: We do not. We eat our fresh fruits for breakfast; we keep all the peels and seeds in the containers. Later we process it, and transform it into jelly and then we sell it to Sri Lanka.

    The Sri Lankan asks: And what do you do with the condoms after you use them?
    The American: We throw them away, of course!
    The Sri Lankan: We do not. We keep them in containers, process them, transform them in to chewing gum and more...

    Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.
    GETTING ON
    At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later! "
    EMBARKATION CARD
    When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.
    Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
    Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!
    GETTING OFF
    Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he more...

    A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
    He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
    The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
    He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
    Then he comes to the Sri Lankan hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
    He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Sri Lankan devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
    "But that is exactly the same as all the more...

    IT HURTS... BUT IT'S TRUE.....
    >------------------------------
    >Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
    >A. Muttiah Muralitharan
    >
    >Q. What is the height of optimism?
    >A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
    >
    >Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was Sri Lankan?
    >A. An all-rounder.
    >
    >Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
    >A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
    >
    >Q. Why is Upul Chandana the unluckiest bowler on tour?
    >A. Because he was born in Sri Lanka.
    >
    >Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
    >A. Three runs in three balls.
    >
    >Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a maiden over?
    >A. Sarita Rajendran now De Silva (Aravinda's wife).
    >
    >Q. When does the ball travel at its fastest in this world cup?
    >A. An Eric Upashantha delivery flying towards the boundary.
    >
    >Q. Why don't Sri Lankan more...

    One day an edlderly customer presented a cheque to the paying counter where I was working as a cashier.
    His name was MR.. .... Perera.
    While scrutinizing the cheque I found every thing is in order but the cheque was drawn in favour of Perera and sons. As a practice in Sri Lanka, an individual cannot cash such cheques over the counter.
    So, I explained very politely to the presenter.
    " Mr. Perera, this cheque is for Perera and sons, not for you "
    " That's right, my three sons also here"

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