"Polish speak" joke
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.I mean, what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.What makes you think that?
I got proof.What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover".
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!