"Polish speak" joke
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.I mean, what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.What makes you think that?
I got proof.What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover".
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...