"Classified Ad Bloopers!" joke
The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:
Free Yorkshire Terrior.
8 years-old. Hateful little dog.
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Free Puppies:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog
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Free Puppies:
Part German Shepherd
Part Stupid Dog
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German Shepherd - 85lbs.
Neutered. Speaks German. Free!
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1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer
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Amana Washer $100.
Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
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Snow blower for sale.
Only used on snowy days.
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2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.
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Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,
Comes with its own
1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto
Excellent Condition, $6, 800.
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83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2, 000
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Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15
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Soft & Genital Bath Tissues
or Facial Tischue - $. 89
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Full-Sized Mattress
20 Year Warranty
Like New! Slight urine smell.
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FREE 1 Can of Pork & Beans
With Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home
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Nordic Track $300
Hardly used. Call Chubbie.
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Bill's Septic Cleaning
"We Haul American Made Products"
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Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks
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HUMMELS - Largest Selection Ever!
"If it's in stock, we have it!"
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Get a Little John:
The Traveling Urinal
Holds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.
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Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club
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Georgia Peaches
California Grown - $. 89/lb.
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Nice Parachute
Never Opened - Used Once
Slightly Stained
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American Flag
60 Stars - Pole Included - $100
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Tired of Working for only $9. 75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.
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Exercise Equipment
Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175
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Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!
And it's made of 100% Italian Leather.
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Joining Nudist Colony!
Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300
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Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.
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Alzheimer's Center Prepares
for an Affair to Remember
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Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell
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Open House!
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free Coffee & Donuts
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Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1. 99/box.
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Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2. 09/lb.
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FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes - Excellent condition.
$1, 000. 00 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend more...
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!