"Two newfies walked into a pet store" joke

Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr... Newfie - I don't care what color they are, just put four budgies in a box for me. Is that too hard? Salesman - O.K. O.K. The two newfies pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this high cliff in Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and pulls out two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff while flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom. The second newfie looks down at his friend's twisted remains and says "What a shame. this budgie jumping isn't all it's cracked up to be!"

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.
And then Elijah commanded the people of God to more...

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Joan, a widow who recently married a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband occasionally talks about his first wife?"
"Oh, not any more," Joan replied.
"What more...

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Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?
Nickname:
Godzilla: King of Monsters
Elvis: King of Rock
Year Career Started:
Godzilla: 1954
Elvis: 1954
Species:
Godzilla: Giant lizard
Elvis: Giant lounge more...

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Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed

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Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?"Caddy: "The way you play, sir, its a sin any day of the week!"

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