"Sexual Quickes" joke

The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
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Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
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One sperm says to the other,' 'How far is it to the ovaries?'' The other one says,' 'Relax. We just passed the tonsils.''
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Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
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Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
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Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow
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Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme
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Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.
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Man:' 'I'd really like to get into your pants.''
Woman:' 'No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.''
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Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
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HIM:' 'Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?''
HER:' 'Because you're never home when it happens.''
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BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN!
COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? more...

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Never squat with yer spurs on. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' more...

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Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong? What's the emergency?""Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It's disfigured.""Well, how bad is it? Can I see?""Follow me, sir."They more...

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Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.

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Snow in Goa

by
Udayan

A Punjabi Bibi (wife) goes on Vacation to Goa. There she meets a Big Black Dravidian Man from Malabar. Overawed by his musculature, she invites him to her bed that night. By the next morning the Aryan Bibi has had the best sex of her entire life. Impressed, she asks him his more...

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Caleb:Keuane a bitch thats wear he left his hairline
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shots fired:yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles on the streets the car start to slow down
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shots fired:yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles on the streets the car start to slow down
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kekee:bllluuuuughd!
Funny Joke? 24 vote(s). 92% are positive. 4 comment(s).