"Are you a real engineer?" joke

Real engineers wear jewelry made from discarded motherboards.
Contrary to popular belief, real engineers do put on nail polish; they just never remove it.
Real engineers schedule their yearly Pap smear around their beta release schedule.
Real engineers not only nurse and program at the same time, but they lull their babies to sleep by the clacking of the keyboard.
Real engineers buy their husbands matching screwdrivers for Christmas, but use them more than he does.
Real engineers get narcotics during labor, not for the pain, but to stop them from taking the fetal distress monitor apart.
Real engineers don't shave their legs above the hemline, in the interest of efficiency.
Also in the interest of efficiency, real engineers buy convertibles so they can blow-dry their hair on the way to work in the morning.
Real engineers carry 2 cans of soup, a yogurt (and a spoon), a box of Triscuits and a package of light Hostess Cupcakes in their purses at all times, in case they pull an all-nighter.
Real engineers only buy purses big enough to fit their laptops in.
Real engineers only wear slipon shoes (with or without heels) so she can take them off to sit cross legged in her chair while programming.
Real engineers keep getting thrown out of Vicoria's Secrest because they insist on knowing the exact tensile strength of their bras before buying them.
Real engineers are excited at their first periods, but mostly because its gives them a chance to use the biometric viscosity measurement tools in their science kits.
Real engineers carry a set of matched screwdrivers in their purses.
Real engineers figure out how to nurse and fix the toaster at the same time.
Real engineers fix the runs in their pantyhose with duct tape.
Real engineers figure out algorithms to minimize thread usage when doing counted cross stitch.
Real engineers keep their key chains and pen pocket protectors on even during labor.
Real Engineers look on having a baby as an opportunity to brush up on biomedical and structural engineering in preparation for taking the PE exam.
Real engineers cinch their biking skirts with cable ties.
Real engineers read the toxic shock inserts in the tampon box.
Real engineers examine the inner workings of the fetal monitor between contractions.
Real engineers make cantilevered birthday cakes (but never provide documentation on how to cut them!)
Real engineers never spell in front of the kids; they'd like to, but they can't!

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead more...


Maori falla " Me miss!?"
English Teacher, "You! yes you?" "How many seconds are there in one minute?" Whole class puts their hands up. Miss! Miss! I know!
Maori falla " rrrrrrrr ummmmmmm rrr "60 Miss! 60 seconds in one minute more...


China, New Zealand, New England, and Samoa were all building a big Tower for their leaders. So after they were done building the tower each leader wanted to make a toast. China went first. He steps up and says, "I want to make a toast to the Great Wall of China!" All more...


There was an ambulance with its siren on that was rushing to the hospital that passed by a tenement. After they passed the tenement, they saw a Samoan man running quickly to the ambulance. The drivers were questioned by his presence behind them so they stopped the ambulance and more...


The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. So she asks him to please step up to the front of the class and recite his more...

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