Stages Jokes

The tri stages of sex in marriage- 1.Tri-weekly 2.Try-weekly 3.Try-weakly

The "I LOVE YOU" virus is making the
rounds again, and it is mutating into several stages. If you
watch your file manager closely, you'll see it mutate like so:
It'll start as the "I Love You" virus.
Then it'll morph into the "I Like You A Lot" virus.
Followed by the "You're Nice, But I Just Wanna Be Friends"
virus.
Then, "Look, It Was Just A Date, Don't Get Clingy" virus.
After "Ok, I Think It's Best If We Don't Have Anymore
Contact" virus it'll mutate into "It Was Late, I Was Drunk,
You Were Easy" virus.
Finally, the "Stop Calling Me, You Unfeeling Prick" will be
morphed into "That's IT! I Hate You AND Your Stupid Dog!"
virus.

The 5 Stages of Drunkenness
Stage 1 - SMART: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING: This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH: This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so more...

The three stages of life:
You believe in Santa Claus.
You don't believe in Santa Claus.
You are Santa Claus.

The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierandwas down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job.The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstateNew York. A nice young man, but a bit timid.Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped aburley young man who seemed quite sure of himself."He looks like he cantake care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the firstapplicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carryyourself - that's an important asset for the job as cashier.However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out theplace on the application where we asked your formal education."Jim looked a little confused so the manager said,"Where did you get your financial education?""Oh," replied Jim - "Yale.""That's very more...