Shave Jokes / Recent Jokes

This fellow goes into a barber shop for a shave and a haircut. While the barber is cutting his hair, he nicks the fellow's ear. He apologizes and wipes off the blood.

During the shave, he nicks the fellow several times. Finally he says, "Would you like your head wrapped in a hot towel?"

The fellow says, "No thanks, I'll just carry it home under my arm."

Two gang members were hired to rub out an uncooperative union official. The pair checked his habits and learned that every evening before he dressed for the evening, he went to the neighborhood barber shop and took a shave. This occurred at exactly 6 O'clock every evening. Accordingly, the hoods decided to knock him off just before he took his shave.
The fateful night came. The pair strategically seated themselves in front of the barber shop at five-thirty and took up their vigil. At six, they put their hands on their pistols and watched the door watched the door anxiously. But the union boss didn't come.
"He'll be here any minute. Be ready," said the experienced killer.
The thugs were beginning to worry, "Do you think he'll show?" whispered the now nervous killer.
To which his anxious youthful associate answered, "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him."

How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor.

You know you're Italian when
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50, 000 on your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:
. Your grandfather had a fig tree.
. You eat Sunday dinner at more...

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

The barber was foaming the man up for a shave, when the man mentioned the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.
The barber took a small wooden ball out of a nearby drawer, handed it to the man and said, "I have just the thing for that. Place this between your cheek and gum."
The man did and the barber proceeded to give him the closest shave he had ever experienced.
After a couple of stokes, the man asked in garbled speech, "What if I swallow it?"
"That's no problem," the barber replied. "Just return it tomorrow like everyone else does."