Shave Jokes / Recent Jokes
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber began to shave his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend
some time in a hotel room."
She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.
The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The parrot being a male sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor’s turkey and rushes back home before being caught in the act.
The next door neighbor knocks on the door and explains what the parrot has been up to. The owner of the parrot reprimands him and tells him if he doesn’t stop it he’s going to shave the parrot’s head.
That night the parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbor’s turkey again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.
The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.
The parrot is doing fine. “Groom’s side to the left and Bride’s side to the right”
Then two bald guys walk in and he says, more...
Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
Don't say you understand when you don't.
Girls are petty; get over it.
You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
If you talk about having a big dick; we know you don't.
Size does matter.
We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.
A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
We are drama queens.
Fashion police do exist.
Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
We more...
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Why do black cats never shave? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he
mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a
nearby drawer, "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest
shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in
garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber, "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else
does."
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech."And what if I swallow it?""No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."