Grandfather Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.
    His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK?
    The son replies he is scared because he has dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.
    The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
    The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
    One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that his Grandfather had died. The father assures the son that Grandfather is fine and sends him to bed. The next day the Grandfather dies.
    One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he has dreamt that Daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is more...

    Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
    One of them kept complaining of family problems.
    Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.
    "A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
    "We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother, and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.
    "Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
    "This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.
    "But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.
    "This was nothing, until my wife and I had a baby. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.
    "This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose more...

    A grandfather and granddaugher were sitting and talking when the young girl asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, He did, "the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

    A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
    The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
    The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
    The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
    The doctor couldn't believe it. So, he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
    The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
    The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
    The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at more...

    A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"
    His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".
    That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean"?
    Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, " I told you those dishes are as clean as coldwater can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore".
    Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass.
    "Grandfather, your dog won't let me more...

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