Richard Jokes / Recent Jokes

Richard Gere is offering fans the chance to have a private lunch with him in an online auction to benefit the Robert F. Kennedy Memorial, a human rights organization. Both dollars should help the organization tremendously.

Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends.

"It's funny," says Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his dick!"

"You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard!"

They turn to the third blonde and ask: "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, also?"

"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"

"You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy! You should try it!"

She says she'll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner.

"Whoa!" the first blonde asks. "How did you get that black eye?!"

"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she said.

"What on earth for?!" the second blonde more...

Richard Watson, an MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed, blowing a whistle, and then walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for an hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.

Richard wrote his thesis on this, and graduated!

Extracted from US news papers:
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Sherri Lynn Rossi was hit in the head more than 20 times with a blunt object and left covered in
blood and in a coma on the side of a road, according to doctors in Pittsburgh in June. When she came
out of the coma, she identified her attacker as her husband, Richard A. Rossi Jr., pastor of the
local, independent, charismatic First Love Church. Richard Rossi denied the charge, insisting that
the hijacker must have been a man who looked like him and had a car like his, and that it was "very
possible, oh, yes" that his wife's attacker was Satan in human form. In October, Sherri Lynn Rossi
abruptly withdrew her accusation, and concurred that her attacker might have been a demon in human
form.
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New York city police arrested the city's most notorious traffic scofflaw, Leroy Linen, 41, in
November. He had inadvertently given them his real name more...

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in! !
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! !
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand! !
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy! !
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!
Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests more...

Gora-Boy was an unnaturally Gora Indian Boy. He wasn't very handsome, or good looking, or have a nice voice, but All the aunties loved him because Gora-Boy was so unbelievably Gora. His mother used to introduce him to all her friends proudly, and they used to remark on Gora's boys Gora-ness. She proudly used to say "he takes after me" and all the other aunties would smile and nod, and give Gora-Boy 10 pound notes in return for pulling tightly at his cheeks. One day, Gora-Boy was travelling on the train with his friends to Paris. Sitting behind him was White-Kid, who was called Richard. Richard had dark hair, and spoke in a funny way because his father was one quarter Indian. Gora-Boy sat opposite to some nice, Indian girls on the train, who naturally thought he was so handsome just because he was Gora, and for no other reason. He made them laugh because he could do really good impressions of Indian Uncles. He was especially funny when he would say Indian phrases with English more...

Extracted from US news papers:
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In Detroit, the lawyer for accused murderer Rondelle Woods, 23, delivered part of his closing
argument to the jury in rap:' Went to a party, sweet 16, decided to stay on the scene.' Woods was
acquitted. But in Las Vegas in December, Eric Clark, 22, pleaded with the judge, in rap for a light
sentence:' I'm sellin' dope, and I as gettin' paid too blind to see how I was gettin' played.' He
got 23 years. - Universal Press Syndicate
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A Tokyo company, Juonsha, recently began offering a mail-order curse kit, featuring a straw doll to
represent the hexee, along with eight accessories, including nails, a curse manual, and a
curse-blocking doll to ward off return curses. The company at first marketed to boys and girls
bullied at school, but discovered the major market is women who hope to put spells on neighbors,
in-laws and more...