Nowhere Jokes / Recent Jokes
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later on this beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere. ..
The 1 Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman
The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman
The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look more...
A little old Jewish lady has taken her young grandson to the beach. He is playing in the shallow water. She is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the little boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He has simply vanished into the sea.
The grandmother raises her hands high up toward the sky, screams and
cries, "Lord, how could you take him? Have I not been a wonderful grandmother? Have I not been a wonderful mother? Have I not given to Bnai Brith? Have I not given to Hadassah? Have I not lit candles every Friday night at dusk? Have I not tried my very best to live the life that you would have me live?"
A loud voice booms down from the sky, "Okay, okay, already!"
A few seconds later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the little boy is more...
A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Bill Clinton comes on TV. The man looks at the TV and says, "Clinton is a horse's ass."
Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face, knocking the first guy off his barstool, then stomps out.
He gets back up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer. Shortly after, Hillary Clinton appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and says, "She is a horse's ass too!"
Out of nowhere, another local punches him in the other side of the face, knocking him off his barstool again.
He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is Clinton country?"
"Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle thru it. All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer more...
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka in the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he opened the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others were quite impressed.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars in the world, nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigars and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of Havanas through the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed. At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it... an envelope from the more...
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian takes a bootle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he open the window and throw the rest of the bottle thru it. All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas, nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it...