Deserted Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Long, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred. .. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The two more...

    Here is a little test that will help you decide

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think? What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have more...

    There are three men stranded on a deserted island (hmm sounds familiar).
    One is Italian, one is Irish and the other Polish. They have been on the Island for close to six months and have developed a great rapport with one another and become the best of friends.
    One day they are searching the shore for a sign of passing boats when they come across a bottle. When the Italian rubs the bottle a genie comes out (can you believe it!). The genie thanks the three men and says "I will grant you three wishes, but it can only be one wish each and I am so tired of being in the bottle for so long it might take a couple of weeks between wishes".
    So the Italian says "I wish I was back in Rome eating a big plate of antipasto"
    POOF!!! he is back in Rome like he wished. A couple of weeks later the Genie says ok, to the Irishman, "What is your wish"
    The Irishman replies, I wish I was back in Dublin at Mac Murphy's pub with a pint of lager. POOF!!! He gets more...

    A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, "Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?""I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice....unless you're tired." she responded.

    Three chaps - an American, a Chinese, and a German - were shipwrecked on a deserted island. The German found a smoky bottle, so he brought it back to the other two, and they all opened it together. Well, out popped a Genie! The Genie granted them each one wish under a condition he wanted to tell them later. Of course, all three wanted to be back home.
    The Genie said he would grant them their wishes. "But first, you must all do me a favor. Mr. American, I want you to build me a restaurant here. Mr. German, you will make the kitchen for this restaurant. Mr. Chinaman, you will get the supplies for the restaurant. I will return in one month. At that time, if you have satisfied my requirements, I will grant your wishes."
    The German and the American started their work immediately. But the Oriental just sat relaxed and enjoyed life. The others warned him to start his work, but he replied, "I will do my wolk. Do not wolly."
    Then, about four days before the more...

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