New Jersey Jokes / Recent Jokes

The sale of the New Jersey Nets to Mikhail Prokhorov is in jeopardy. He must have seen them play.

Chapter 2: Are You Funny? No!
I know I can teach you comedy. Why? Because I have won several comedy competitions sponsored by many notable brands of beer and malt liquor. Oh sure, you could buy someone else's comedy book, thereby verifying that you are gay and an arsonist as I have long suspected, but wouldn't you rather learn from the voice of experience? I'm talking about the experience that comes from winning a Bacardi T-shirt by telling a joke about your dick that is so funny, Bacardi is considering putting a picture of it on the labels of its many fine beverages! Enough of that, though! We'll learn more about my dick in Chapter 8: The Pride of New Jersey!
First, let's find out if you're funny. Actually, we both know you aren't funny. Otherwise, why would you buy a book on how to be funny? It's because you're a dumb shit, that's why. Thanks for the upwards of 15 bucks, dumb shit-for-brains! Hopefully, though, you're funnier than my mom, who doesn't understand my jokes more...

I recently moved to the Princeton, NJ area and my first instinct was to find a food store. I came across an ACME Supermarket. Subconsciously knowing what I know about this company from countless Road Runner cartoons, there was no way I was going to actually consume anything from there.
Does it not seem like a lackluster marketing strategy to name a chain of supermarkets after the most infamous defective product company in Saturday morning history? No thank you, I've seen the consequences of doing business with your company. Just seems plain irresponsible to me.

A Russian billionaire is interested in buying the New Jersey Nets. Apparently he's also interested in becoming a Russian millionaire.

A growing corruption scandal is sweeping New Jersey. It's good to see something is finally sweeping New Jersey.

Several rabbis in New Jersey have been arrested for money laundering.I only have one thing to say..........Silly Rabbis,Kickbacks God Forbids!

According to the Daily News, a NJ City Councilman got so inebriated at a concert that he urinated off the balcony onto the people below. Obama's message of of change is really sweeping accross the nation. For once, politicians are pissing on us instead of shitting on us.